Foreword: Here I Go Again
I have decided to stop avoiding my novel. I have to do revisions and improve a few things. To help me with the skills needed to make the improvements, I’ve written a short fiction, The Physics of a Third Death, and have two more literary fictions in the works. This is the equivalent of my doing plyometrics and strength training to help me get ready for a big competition. Each of these side projects helps me get better at a specific skill I need to make my novel a bit better. I’m sharing a glimpse of one of the literary fictions here. As I’ve mentioned, I am fortunate to have serious people guiding the revision of my novel. That process has taken me far outside my comfort zone. I am learning a ton. Developing this new side project is part of that learning.
This is chapter one of Lots of Ground Covered, a story of two people trying to rebuild trust in seven days, two years after their major rupture. I’m pushing myself to improve my dialogue building as well as my withholding technique throughout the whole piece. Just as in the case of the excerpt of my novel, Melody of A Coffee Stain, I really hope you let me know what you think; even if you believe this reads like a dirty diaper that has been cleaned with another dirty diaper.
Enjoy? Or at least get through it!
To say I’m arithmomaniacal is no understatement. I mean I am obsessed with numbers, dates, accounts, chronologies, I don’t make it part of my identity. I am more complex. I’m also chronic, historical, and numerical. That was a joke. I’m not funny, that job role belonged to someone else. We broke up 17,520 hours ago today. If you’re not as maniacal for numbers as I am, that’s seven hundred and thirty days ago. You know, 24 months ago.
It hasn’t been easy but with the help of my shrink and my bank account, I’ve been able to move on without a scratch. Although, if I’m honest, it was devastating the first year. I normally go about my routine, not thinking much about her. So, why am I bringing her up this morning on my way to the coffee bar, my first joy of the day?
Well, because she showed up today. Three hours ago. Unexpectedly. Without a heads up. At the coffee bar. With a nudge on my shoulder and a simple greeting.
“Hi Jordi”
“Penelope? What. What are you doing here?”
“I needed more material, so I came here for inspiration.”
I paused. I wasn’t amused. She took a receipt out of her purse.
“I was kidding, I didn’t come looking for material. I need to talk to you. I already paid for your drink. Can we talk? I’ll explain once we grab a chair”
I was stunned. I didn’t know what to think or feel. I set aside about 45 minutes for my morning coffee before heading to work. I figured I’d give her 10 minutes for casual talk, and 2 minutes to find an excuse to leave and avoid an awkward goodbye.
She had a table already set aside at the bar’s patio. Strategically away from all other tables. I was puzzled. Was she going to tell me she’s pregnant? Terminally ill? Getting married?
We grabbed our drinks and sat down.
“So, how’s life in DC?”
“Good. What’re you doing here, Penelope?”
“Ok. No ice breakers, fair enough”
“I don’t mean to be rude. I mean, are you ok? Is your big Hollywood job ok?”
“Yes, Jordi. All is good. I just had to see you.”
“You travelled 2,303 miles by air just to say ‘hi’?”
She rolled her eyes.
“No. Of course not, silly, I drove 2,632 miles.”
“You did?”
“No I didn’t. I flew here. I just knew you were going to say that if I saw you.”
She looked at her watch. She’s a pro and knows how to read her audience.
“I know you, Jordi. I probably only have ten minutes. So let me get to the point. I came to see you because I’ve missed you. The truth is I never wanted to leave.”
“Well, you sure had a funny way of showing it…I’m sorry. That came out wrong. Please, speak.”
She took a sip from her cup.
“I had been wanting to see you for the last 4 months. I booked my flight last month, but I wasn’t sure you wanted to see me. Besides, you blocked my phone and socials so I wouldn’t know how to get in touch with you.”
“So you got on the plane instead?”
“I know that it sounds crazy. In fact, my agent, Bill, thought it was psycho. He offered to get me on the phone with you first. But this is something I needed to do myself. I didn’t really have a plan. I just wanted to be back in DC. Walk to all the places you go to and hopefully run into you. Something told me I would find you at some point. You’re a creature of habit, you know”
I smiled inside. I thought it was romantic. Almost cinematic. And out of character. I’ve always been the one enamored with serendipity and synchronicity. The fact that she was willing to surrender to fate was new. She had changed.
“Ok. Now you’re here. What’s on your mind?”
She started to cry.
“You. You’re on my mind. You always have. I mean not every minute of the day. But There hasn’t been a day I haven’t thought about you.”
“Look, Penelope, if this is one of those 12 step things and you’re here for forgiveness, you could’ve saved the money for your flight. I don’t want an apology. No hard feeling. Really. Hating you is just not my thing”
“I didn’t come here to ask for forgiveness. I mean I know what I did was unforgivable. But I came for something else. I want you back in my life. I want to rebuild the trust.”
I grabbed my coffee with both hands. Locked eyes.
“Penelope, I don’t know how not to be in love with you.”
And just like that, 280 days of therapy, at $300 a pop, unboxing shit down the toilet. I’m sure people in my situation often wonder what if; what if she returns, do I play it cool, do I show indifference, do I come clean? I must’ve played this scene a hundred times in my head. At least in the beginning. I had stopped thinking about the what ifs. I had come to terms with the fact that she wasn’t gonna come back. Yet there she was.
She held my hands. I pulled back.
“Hang on please, hear me out. I don’t know how not to be in love with you. But I don’t know why you want to come back now. I fear my heart won’t be able to take another rupture. So, I must know why you’re here.”
She took another sip.
“I’m tired of not being with you and feeling part of me is always missing. I know now I’m in love with you too.”
“Are you?”
“Yes. It took some time to admit it. And to admit being in love with you scared the hell out of me which is why I did what I did. Being apart has not been easy for me. Professionally things are great, but they aren’t perfect because I don’t get to share my wins with you.”
“Technically, I’ve seen some of your wins. I can tell which jokes you’ve written whenever I watch the late-night show. I could also tell you wrote episode 5 in that funny series with the curly hair guy.”
“You knew that was me? It makes me happy to know you knew it was me. I tried to leave messages in some of my writing for you. Could you tell?”
Truth be told. I wished there were messages hidden in her writing, but I always felt it was just hopeful thinking.
“I didn’t notice to be honest.”
“You didn’t notice that the character’s birthday was the same as yours in the series?”
I played dumb.
“Now that you mention it, I’m gonna have to double check.”
“Yeah. Look it up. The name of the episode is literary called ‘April 20th.’”
I smiled.
“So, what now. Penelope?”
“Now you tell me if I should call Bill and tell him to book the next flight back to LA today, or if need to find a place to stay for the week. By the way, I only have a week. I need to get back to work and Bill was only able to carve that time away.”
I took a deep breath. Counted three seconds. Grabbed my phone and called my office.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“I’m cancelling all my commitments for the day. Where do you plan to spend the night?”
“I hadn’t gotten that far. I didn’t know if I were staying.”
“It’s cherry blossom weekend in DC. The hotel is gonna cost you a fortune if you find something. Why don’t you just come stay at my place? We only have seven days. Might as well pull a couple of all-nighters.”
“True. Ok but I promise I’ll get a hotel room in 3 or 4 days; after the cherry blossom crowd goes home.”
“I think I can handle that.”
That’s when I realized she had her carry-on luggage with her. We talked about nothing for the rest of the morning. We laughed. We had lunch.
We got on the metro right before the peak hour and headed home. We held hands the whole way there. When we got there. She put her bags down and went to the kitchen where I was.
I tried to kiss her, but she pulled away.
I was confused.
